Kecewa dan Hampa
"Selamat kembali, kawan-kawan sebilikku. Macam mana dengan "bulan madu" kau berdua di semenanjung sana? Hahaha", sapa si Fadil yang melihat kami berdua masuk ke bilik. "Eh, kau ni. Gurau perli nampak, hahaha. Kita orang okay sahaja, seronok jugalah dapat melihat suasana dekat sana", balas Arif sebelum dia menyambung lagi, "Kau pula? Kau dengan Paan buat apa berdua-dua dalam bilik sepanjang kita orang tiada ni? Jangan buat macam-macam, hahaha", pada masa yang sama aku pun bergerak ke katil aku untuk meletakkan beg-beg itu sebelum menanggalkan pakaian dan menyarung tuala untuk ke bilik air. "Hahaha, aku dengan dia macam biasalah, bernakal-nakal. Alang-alang kau berdua tiada, hahaha", guraunya. Mereka berdua pun bergelak-tawa dengan gurauan-gurauan mereka, manakala aku pun terus melangkah keluar dari bilik. Agak lama jugalah aku terperap di dalam bilik air itu, aku duduk di lantai dan hanya membiarkan air dingin dari paip pancuran itu terus mengalir ke atas badanku, pada masa yang sama aku juga termenung memikirkan nasib aku pada perlawanan itu lagi. Tanpa sedar, Arif sudah lama memanggil-manggil aku di luar tempat mandiku, "Faris, kau okay tak? Dah setengah jam kau dalam ni, buka pintu sekejap". "Ak... aku okay. Aku tengah bersih-bersihkan badan ni", balasku. "Betul ni kau okay?". "Ye, betul. Jangan risaulah". Setelah itu, Arif pun berlalu keliar dari bilik air itu manakala aku pun cepat-cepat keringkan badan dan balik ke bilik. "Selesai juga kau mandi, lama dah aku tunggu. Meh sini, aku ade belikan nasi goreng untuk kau. Aku tau kau tengah lapar tu". ajak Arif lalu aku pun memakai pakaianku dan mengambil makanan darinya. "Eh, kau nak makan dekat mana?". "Tak apalah, Rif. Aku makan dekat meja aku tu". "Eh budak ni, jangan nak mengada-ngada. Meh sini duduk dan makan dengan aku", lalu dia pun menarik tangan aku untuk duduk bersamanya di tengah-tengah bilik itu.
Sedang kami menjamah makan malam itu, pintu bilik kami diketuk lalu dibuka dan terperanjat kami melihat ahli-ahli kelab gusti aku berdiri di luar, malah bersama-sama mereka juga adalah beberapa orang yang pernah membelasah aku sewaktu latihan pertama aku sebelum ini. "Assalammualaikum, Faris. Maaf kacau, boleh kita orang masuk, nak jumpa kau kejap", tanya salah seorang dari mereka lalu Arif pun menjemput mereka masuk ke bilik. "Kita orang datang ni saja-saja nak lepak dengan kau. Kita orang tahu keputusan perlawanan hari itu, jadi kita orang datang nak bagi kau semangat balik untuk berlatih dan... kita orang nak kau fikir masak-masak mengenai keputusan kau tu. Tolong, Faris. Tolong sertai balik kelab kami", rayu mereka beberapa kali manakala Arif kelihatan terkejut mengenai hal itu. "Fikir masak-masak? Sertai balik? Apa maksud kau orang?", soal Arif yang sedikit pelik. Sebelum mereka sempat bercakap, aku mencelah, "Maaf kau orang, buat masa ini keputusan aku adalah muktamad. Tolong beri aku masa, tolong bagi aku tenangkan fikiran", balasku. "Tapi, Faris...", belum sempat dia berkata-kata, aku pun terus memandangnya lalu tersenyum padanya. Melihat aku sebegitu, dia pun terus diam sebelum membalas, "Baiklah kalau kau cakap macam tu, kita orang harap kau berubah fikiran semula", lalu mereka pun bangkit dan bersalaman dengan Faris, malah ada juga yang memeluknya sambil memberikan kata-kata semangat.
Setelah mereka semua keluar, Arif pun terus menanyakan kembali tentang hal tadi. "Kita makan dulu, nanti aku cerita semuanya", kataku lalu menjamah semula nasi aku itu. Setelah semuanya selesai, dia terus duduk di sebelah sewaktu aku sedang berbaring di atasnya lalu dia oun memandang aku. Aku dengan berat hati pun menceritakan perkara sebenar mengenai pengunduran aku sebagai ahli kelab gusti itu. "Weh, kenapa tak bagitahu aku dulu? Kenapa kau nak keluar? Bukan kau suka ke nak masuk sebelum ni? Inikam impian kau, kenapa kau tak bincang dengan aku dulu?", pertanyaan demi pertanyaan Arif soalkan, sepertinya dia tidak percaya dengan keputusan aku. Aku pun terangkan padanya sebab-musabab dengan keputusan aku itu. Pada mulanya dia tidak percaya, namun akhirnya dia akur juga. "Tak apalah, Ris. Ini keputusan kau, aku sokong je segala kemahuan kau. Aku tetap di samping kau, ingat tau". " Terima kasih tau, Arif. Terima kasih sebab faham aku dan sentiasa ada di sisi menyokong aku selama ini. Aku betul-betul hargai kau sebagai sahabat aku. Terima kasih sangat-sangat", balasku lalu aku terus memeluk dirinya dengan agak lama dan dia juga membalasnya sambil mengusap-usap kepalaku. "Arif, malam ni boleh tak aku nak tidur dengan kau pula. Sebelum ni kau pernah tidur dekat katil aku kan, sekarang aku nak tidur dekat katil kau pula". "Nakal ya kau ni Ris. Okay, boleh je. Meh sini baring", lalu aku pun baring di sebelah kirinya sambil berkongsi satu bantal dengannya. Lama-kelamaan aku pun terlelap disampingnya. Dikala laungan azan Subuh berkumandang di langit dingin pagi itu, Arif pun tersedar dari tidur lenanya dan mendapati bahawa aku tiada di sisinya. Setelah selesai sembahyang, dia pun kembali ke katilnya namun dia terlihat satu pucuk surat di atas meja yang ditujukan padanya. Air matanya mulai bergenang di kedua-dua matanya sewaktu membaca isi surat itu lalu dia pun melihat ke luar tingkap, langit yang gelap mulai cerah dan bukit-bukau dan pepohon hijau mulai menampakkan diri mereka. Terukir senyuman kecil di bibirnya sambil air mata yang bergelinangan itu mulai mengalir di pipinya pada pagi itu.
M.N.A_97
Faris_Shah
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ENGLISH
The atmosphere when I returned to Sabah was very cloudy as if the sky also felt the pain I felt at that time. I never imagined that I was beaten badly and lost, even worse I was defeated by an old friend who I was close to before. At that time, I was alone in the hotel after the match. Arif who stays in the same room as me several times tried to always be by my side and also hugged me to calm the disappointment I experienced. My sadness at that time was so heavy that I cried in his arms, but the feeling still hasn't gone away. "Faris, we've arrived. Let's go", Arif interrupted my thought. I got out of the institution's van and went back with Arif to the dormitory room after taking our personal belongings. "Are you okay, Ris? Your face is just gloomy", asked Arif who saw my gloomy face. "It's nothing, Rif. I'm fine", I replied simply. "It's okay, Ris. You'll have luck for the next competition. Don't be sad, okay", then Arif put his arms around my shoulders, while I couldn't hug him because my hands were full of bags, only able to smile at him.
"Welcome back, my roommates. How was your "honeymoon" on the peninsula? Hahaha", greeted Fadil who saw us enter the room. "Eh, watch your mouth before I slap it, hahaha. We're okay, it's fun to see that places around there", replied Arif before he continued, "What about you? What are you and Paan doing together in the room while we're not here? Don't do things weird, hahaha", at the same time I moved to my bed to put the bags down before taking off my clothes and putting on a towel to go to the bathroom. "Hahaha, I'm with him like usual, being naughty. It's just that you two aren't there, hahaha", he joked. They both laughed at their jokes, while I continued to step out of the room. I was in the bathroom for quite some time, I sat on the floor and just let the cold water from the shower pipe continue to flow over my body, at the same time I was thinking about my fate in that match again. Without realizing it, Arif has been calling me outside my bathroom for a long time, "Faris, are you okay? You've been in here for half an hour, open the door for a moment". "I... I'm okay. I'm still cleaning my body", I replied. "Really, are you okay?". "Yes, that's right. Don't worry". After that, Arif walked out of the bathroom while I quickly dried myself and went back to the room. "Already finish your shower, I've been waiting for a long time. Come here, I'll buy fried rice for you. I know you're hungry". Arif asked and I put on my clothes and took food from him. "Eh, where do you want to eat?". "It's okay, Rif. I'm eating at my table". "Hey boy, no. Come sit here and eat with me", then he pulled my hand to sit with him in the middle of the room.
While we were eating dinner, there was a knock on the door of our room and we were surprised to see the members of my wrestling club standing outside, even with them were some of the people who had beaten me up during my first practice before. "Assalamualaikum, Faris. Sorry to disturb you, can we come in, we want to see you for a moment", asked one of them and Arif invited them into the room. "We just came here to hang out with you. We know the outcome of that day's match, so we came to give you the motivation to train and... we want you to think hard about your decision. Please , Faris. Please come back to our club", they begged several times while Arif looked shocked about it. "Thinking about decision? Join back? What do you mean?", asked Arif who was a little strange. Before they could speak, I interrupted, "I'm sorry guys, for now my decision is final. Please give me time, please let me in peace", I replied. "But, Faris...", before he could say anything, I kept looking at him and smiled at him. Seeing me like that, he remained silent before replying, "Well if you say that, we hope you will change your mind again", then they stood up and shook hands with me, and some even hugged me while giving words of encouragement.
After they all left, Arif continued to ask again about this matter. "Let's eat first, I'll tell you everything later", I said and eat my rice again. After everything was done, he continued to sit next to me while I was lying on bed and then he looked at me. I reluctantly told the truth about my resignation as a member of the wrestling club. "Weh, why didn't you tell me first? Why did you want to out? Didn't you like to be there before this? It's your dream, why didn't you talk to me first?", question after question Arif asked, as if he didn't believe in my decision . I explained to him the reasons for my decision. At first he didn't believe it, but eventually he agreed too. "It's okay, Ris. This is your decision, I support everything you want. I'll stay by your side, remember that". "Thank you, Arif. Thank you for understanding me and always being there to support me all this time. I really appreciate you as my friend. Thank you very much", I replied and then I continued to hug him for a long time and he also replied while stroking my head. "Arif, is it okay if I want to sleep with you tonight too. Before this you used to sleep next to me on my bed, right, now I want to sleep next to you on your bed too". "You're naughty, Ris. Okay, it's fine. Go lie down here", then I lay down on his left side while sharing a pillow with him. Eventually I fell asleep next to him. When the morning call to prayer echoed in the cold morning sky, Arif woke up from his deep sleep and found that I was not by his side. After finishing the prayer, he returned to his bed but he saw a letter on the table addressed to him. Tears began to pool in both eyes as he read the contents of the letter and he looked out the window after that, the dark sky began to lighten and green hills and trees began to show themselves. There was a small smile on his lips as the tears began to flow down his cheeks that morning.
M.N.A_97
Faris_Shah
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Catat Ulasan